I feel so cliche.

Me and E. we're nothing. Absolutely nothing. We were just speaking. Me over thinking things fucked everything up "put him off me"..he said we weren't even friends right now, maybe at a later point. Oh that's alright then.

I wish I could criticise him. Bring myself to say the classic lines "all he wanted was sex" or "he got what he wanted now he's leaving"..but the truth is I drove him away. I really did. Because for the few days we were close after it happened he was perfect. We were like we were together. That's all gone now, we're just nothing.

It fucking hurts.
I still don't believe it when they say having sex with someone builds up feelings or we wouldn't now not be talking...ending with the words "See you around, sorry to end the friendship a bit rough"...yeah it fucking did. But I do believe that there must have been something there before. Or 1. I wouldn't have been able to do it. I couldn't with W. and 2. I wouldn't be finding it this hard to accept we're over. Trying to delete all our texts. I can't do it. Too many messages. I think I'm crying over him. I hope not. I can't stand getting that emotionally attached to someone.

I don't know what's wrong with me. But I do feel like another classic case of fucked and chucked. That'd be if we were together to begin with..which we weren't. I just don't know. I don't know if he ever saw me as more than a very lifelike sex doll. I still hope so.