YOU BABE.

Ok. So awkward got W to delete the pictures. I know he's probably gonna read this so I fricking love you man. W is a dick and my sole intention from now onwards is to abolish all contact with him. Besides the fact I had sex with E he has nothing on me. Which is a relief. Bye bye you desperate bastard. Sorry to offend your best mate awkward ;D

I feel so cliche.

Me and E. we're nothing. Absolutely nothing. We were just speaking. Me over thinking things fucked everything up "put him off me"..he said we weren't even friends right now, maybe at a later point. Oh that's alright then.

I wish I could criticise him. Bring myself to say the classic lines "all he wanted was sex" or "he got what he wanted now he's leaving"..but the truth is I drove him away. I really did. Because for the few days we were close after it happened he was perfect. We were like we were together. That's all gone now, we're just nothing.

It fucking hurts.
I still don't believe it when they say having sex with someone builds up feelings or we wouldn't now not be talking...ending with the words "See you around, sorry to end the friendship a bit rough"...yeah it fucking did. But I do believe that there must have been something there before. Or 1. I wouldn't have been able to do it. I couldn't with W. and 2. I wouldn't be finding it this hard to accept we're over. Trying to delete all our texts. I can't do it. Too many messages. I think I'm crying over him. I hope not. I can't stand getting that emotionally attached to someone.

I don't know what's wrong with me. But I do feel like another classic case of fucked and chucked. That'd be if we were together to begin with..which we weren't. I just don't know. I don't know if he ever saw me as more than a very lifelike sex doll. I still hope so.

Do me an ickle favour?

I promise you all I will not make a habit of this.

But yeah. I owe this kid a favor or two as it is, and he's a good guy. I reckon you'll get giggles out of it. Meet awkward/ creepy stalker. I feel you should  view his blog and cheer up his little life ;D.

http://awkwardboyforeveralone.blogspot.co.uk/

Heh.

Oh god. I just thought I'd have a little read through my old posts. And found this. "I know not all guys are after one thing and blah blah blah...but it looks like he was. So glad that's all that happened, before I made a mistake I seriously regretted. Should have known better from the guy who doesn't even date. " Ok, so basically. This is the guy I had sex with...No...Lost my virginity to. And we're back to feeling really stupid. I guess we aren't talking as much right now, well, we aren't at all. Back to feeling like a fucking idiot.

That's not the only reason why. When W was round last night....He took some pictures of me. I tried to stop  him. But he took them. I found out he showed them to awkward. I was sick. I feel so ill. I've not really stopped shaking since. My fingertips are still trembling. He's apparently going to threaten to put them on Facebook if I don't do what he wants. I know what that will be. And we're back to feeling ill. But Awkward said he'll delete them...I really hope he does. I'm so weak recently, I couldn't cope with this on top of it all. It's too much.

Deepest apologies.

Creepy stalker. I'm changing your name. Now you'll just be awkward. I fucking love you man. I'm doing something that takes a lot of guts here. I'm letting you see this blog. Your opinion of me will be so lowered mate ;). I take you for granted. You are a good friend. I apologise for everything you're about to see...deeply. 

Please don't make this change your mind about doing me the most amazing favour in the world.

LOVE YOU LOADS.

Oh dear god

I'm such an attention whore. I just did something stupid. Arguing with my best friend because she wants to fuck W. So I've just taken a lot of paracetamol. I know I'll be fine, I've taken more than this before. I know I'm not suicidal. I just try to scare myself out of harvest I don't like to be honest. If you don't hear from me for a while it's because I'm lazy...not dead...hopefully ;)

Now to lighten the mood enjoy this image of barney the dinosaur.

YOLO...?

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