Okay so yesterday I had work obviously. There is a new apprentice....who is in E's year at his school....She told me the facetime story, but not who it was about..when I then hid my face and told her my full name....awkward. Then C came and got me, and we went for a drive, and we went off for a wander through a huge field. It was amazing, we were just having such amazing talks (even though I found out he is seeing someone "exclusively" apparently, who already hates me because of the scratches) and turned up to my friends party like an hour late....now onto the friends party.
Me and C had a bottle of Jaegermeister to share...Yeah a litre of the stuff, that about says it all. Some people there were already drunk, so I was greeted pretty much by the same thing everytime..."So so so what happened with you and E", and then people hitting on me. So C saw that was effecting me and was like "pint Jaegerbomb" I wasn't going to refuse. We did the drink....10 minutes later and I don't think I could stand up. We'll start with the mild events of the night.
1. I played bongos on E's best friends chest.
2. I got hit on by a number of people but rejected them all
3. I got a speech from this guy who was like "you're so beautiful and what E did was wrong and not fair and I can't believe he did that, you deserve so much better and don't let him put you down, you will find someone who treats you better, ok?
And now onto the serious shit.
Ermmm yeah, me and C. I walked down the park with him, and started kissing him, and at that point he was like, no you're 15, no that isn't fair, no don't you'll regret it so much. So after a while of slightly trying to make something happen, I gave up and we went back. On the way back I fell over on the pavement, and that's why my head hurts... Then we sat outside my friends house, then I dragged him back down the park. This time slightly more happened. Okay, he told my friend he was just walking me home, and that was fully his intention, however that is not what happened. I asked if we could go sit down the park for a little bit before I went home because my sister was in. So he picked me up and carried me, and then when we got there he like span me round so I was sitting on his lap. And then I reached up and kissed him...but this time he kissed back. And we sat there for a while kissing...and then I felt him undo my bra with his hands up my top, and I kinda got the feeling something was going to happen, so I asked him if he wanted to go round the corner, so we weren't in plain view of the road...And he said yeah, so he picked me up with my legs around his waist and started kissing me, a lot. Then he sat me down on some climbing frame thing, and like my legs were still wrapped around him. And he was kissing me, and his hand was up my top, and then his hand went down my leggings, so his hands were just under my underwear...then I think he fingered me...And then stopped himself. And walked away, and started smoking. And everytime he came within like talking distance, I was just asking him why not, obviously I knew why, he is seeing someone exclusively, and i'm 15. He was saying how there is 3 years, and how bad it made him feel and how we shouldn't. And we didn't. But he kept saying "shit, you're 15 and you're making this so fucking hard for me"...Everytime I said that I scratched his back, and apparently he finds that a turn on, because at that point he gave up and his hands would start to wander or at the least he would kiss me. Apparently no amount of scratching, biting, kissing, or sucking (HIS NECK WHAT DO YOU TAKE ME FOR) could take away the three years. I didn't believe him, I don't think he believed himself. I kept saying "what do you want, not what you think is right?"...He refused to answer that question. And I said "prove you don't want it, take it too far and then turn back, then I'll believe you"...He kinda tried, but I think turning back was difficult for him. He had my key, so I said I was gonna walk home, and asked him for it, and he said no because he was going to walk me home. He gave me a piggy back. At which point I started to give him lovebites, and I told him to either walk into the garages or give me my key and I'll walk the rest on my own. Yeah he chose the right option. When he turned into the garages I must've had some form of conscious mind, because I realised where we were was visible from my sisters window....And tried to drag him in further. Which slightly ruined it, and I realised how loud we were, so nothing actually happened. I walked home on my own and he followed me to make sure I got there okay. At my door we kissed again, kissed a lot, and I think he was trying to come in, then I realised my sister was in, and I stopped him. so that's last nights antics and the reason I know feel like a massive slut, and am in pain. Also, He said he was walking me home.....all of E's friends saw that, and saw how long it took us, shit.
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